attachment

Attachment.

I hate this word tbh.

I've been there.

Too attached with people 

too attached.

And im afraid if im gonna repeat the same mistakes.

Because it damn hurts.

I hate to be hurts.

I hate sadness 

I hate jelousy

I hate loss

Im afraid of loss

I hate crying and I hate to be Afraid of sad 

I hate. 

I dont know where should I belong.

Im searching myself.

To find the partner?

No its not the solution

I hate the temporary solution.

Just like I said. I hate loss 

I hate something temporary.

Im still serching.

My soul is searching for something that unspoken.

It cant be express by words.

Its rare.

Its just undefined.

There is something in my heart that keep on searching all over again what is not right down here 

It just like uncomplete puzzles 

Its loss.

It just something missing.

It must be fill .

It a must

unless Ill be dead.

I cant leave like this. 

I must keep on searching what is it.

And I know its me.

Its myself

My mistakes

I dont even know what the purpose of life is

I want to know.

How it feels

to be the person who really understands what life is

And not controlled by status or money or beauty or car or mansion or whatever.

I want to feel how to live a life just for the sake of Allah.

I want to feel that

I want to feel what is like to be the slaves who always try to seek Allah plessure.

Im tryingy best.

But it stuck.

It cant .

I cant do this alone.

And im thinking.

If not now, then when?

how? why? who?

urgh. My heart still searching.

Im.dead inside.

I want to know the real thing

I know life is not all about go to univ and get a job and married and die.

Not its not like that.

Im still confused.

I am. 

Iam.

Its unspoken

someone? give me the answers 

Im yearning for it. seriously